The word pitch feels both slimy and pointy at the same time.
But there IS a way to get what you want. No snake oil required.
What is a pitch?
Your dating profile. A “for sale” listing on FB marketplace. The “let’s go do something” text to the group chat.
When you want something, but you need someone else to agree. How else can you connect, sell, or see the new Spider-Man movie?
You’re looking for buy-in, so you need to persuade.
Today we’ll explore ethical, functional ways to pitch. To make your reader smile instead of cringe.
Let’s also celebrate all the best pitches ever to grace my inbox — and investigate what made them great.
- The right message 2. to the right person 3. at the right time.
The Right Message
Big secret alert: You only really care about yourself and what you get.
And everyone else is exactly the same, no matter how different they are.
If your message is the solar system, your reader is the sun. Everything revolves around them and exists because of them.
Spend time thinking about a day in the life of your audience. What might bring them to your request. What do they want? Need? Hope for?
And does your pitch solve a problem or give a benefit? If not, start over.
A Valuable Offer
“Hey, you! Hire me!” or “Buy this thing I’m selling!” are the least valuable messages I get.
They’re the Flat Earth of the pitching world — it’s all about the writer (Earth) — their reader (the sun) is barely an afterthought.
Your message: Must. Be. Valuable.
Remember, your audience has a choice: 1. Listen to you or 2. Do *anything* else.
Give them a reason to forego Fortnite or Heated Rivalry or a nap.
Entertain them. Or educate. Or validate. Help them save, find ease, feel special, or say, “See? They get me.”
Think about the social posts you interact with. What connects with you? What do you get out of it?
Tone: Helpful Human
Write it. Then say it all out loud.
No, you can’t “read it in your head.”
Out loud.
While you’re feeling silly talking to yourself, think about this: If you were face to face with someone, would you actually say your written words? In that order? With those looooooong sentences?
Example of ~writing voice~: “Greetings Coworkers! It is with great joy that I announce Pizza Friday will resume now that The Incident has been resolved. Best Regards, Your Boss”
~Talking out loud to a person~ voice: “Pizza Friday is back on! We figured out who stole the breakroom table and handled it. See you at lunch time.”
Structure: Keep it Short
- Lots of paragraph breaks.
- Avoid text walls.
- If you can say it with fewer words, do that. (Yes, there’s probably a shorter way to say that.)
To the Right Person
I worked as a telemarketer for a while. (Apologies to everyone I had to call). At the time, I was on the “win back” campaign for TELECOM COMPANY.
So, in theory, I was calling customers who cancelled their TELECOM COMPANY service to offer them a *really great deal* to come back.
But guess what? A bunch of people on that list were current customers. The WRONG people.
MinMaxMarketing says: Current customers of TELECOM COMPANY aren’t allowed access to *really great deal* because they are loyal customers who never left. They don’t need a discount to act — they’re already happy. (PS. Those customers were no longer happy when they found out leaving could save them a lot of money.)
The message “Do you want a *really great deal*?” is awesome until you’re saying it to the wrong person.
Try offering unlimited Omaha Steaks to a vegan. Or a wall mural of Jesus to an atheist.
If it’s the wrong person, the answer is, “No. No. No.” As it should be.
“Know” Your Audience
In marketing-speak, whoever you’re trying to persuade is your audience.
And the frustrating part is this: you’ll never truly know them.
You can guess. You can average. You can glob every customer together into a single Cronenberg amalgamation.
But it’s still guesses, averages, and The Fly.
And that’s okay.
There’s only one way to *know* if a pitch works: try it.
You can’t fully control the Fates or spam filters. But the only truly failed pitch is the one sitting in your drafts folder.
At the Right Time
A kid with a lawnmower fighting through your overgrown lawn to knock on your front door. That’s a right-time pitch.
When They Need It
If I put a WhatsIt in my cart, then forgot to check out. Go ahead and remind me! That’s valuable, personal (about me), and timely.
I probably got distracted. Or I can remove it from the cart.
Think “Customer journey.” Think “Are they asleep right now?” Think “Is this message about them… or me?” (It can be both.)
Follow-Ups vs Take a Hint
Inboxes are full. It’s okay to give a little nudge after a week or two. A valuable, helpful, human nudge.
But let’s avoid the stalker-hoping-to-wear-you-face type of follow ups.
What’s the old saying?
“If you pitch someone let it go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”
If you’ve said your friendly Hi Hello a few times and they don’t respond, move on.
A Great Pitch
Skimmable. To the point. Human.
And I love a bit of extra information and a quiz. 🥳
The fun fact about “more episodes than most podcasters” hooked me. A specific, true, expertise-connected compliment about little old me? And a ranking for my competitive self?
I needed to know more… which means I replied… which means the pitch worked.
PS. A great follow up.
The actual info I asked for presented in a friendly way with more context and expertise if I want to look around.
5 stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ No notes!
Don’t Do What Donny Don’t Does
For how NOT to pitch, check out the AI slop featured in my previous blog.
Words About Stuff by Amy the Copywriter | Art by RAD Studio