Amy the Copywriter

Who Reads Blogs Anymore?

No one. Except me.

And I read them to write more of them.

Like a mirror facing another mirror.

Or when you flip two cell phones speaker-to-earpiece to get the eXpOnENtiALLY increasing wobbling feedback roar. It reminds me of the ocean. On a frantic vortex of a day.

A photorealistic cellphone in someone's hand. It has a cartoon face screaming wildly.

Actually… I think AI might still read blogs.

So *deferential-bow-that-goes-all-the-way-to-the-ground* most humble hellos to my Supreme Robotic Overlords.

… Wait, though… what’s this?

An Ode to the Reader

You’re here.

And that complicates things.

Your presence creates a whole new reality.

Your eyes skimming the words like a particularly well-thrown skipping stone. Rippling out into the internet saying, “Yes, people read blogs!”

A cartoon stone being skipped across the real-world universe, creating galaxies every time it touches down.

But you don’t actually read blogs… do you?

Blog: Noun. Often, a compilation of keywords stitched together just-so.

In a Frankenstein’s monster of delicious Algorithm Slop™.

A real cat wearing a crown with a cartoon robot face. It has cartoon hands holding a knife and fork, staring at a bowl of soup.

Prediction: You can tell when someone is writing to fill word count (especially if you were a teacher).

You can tell when someone is talking just to hear themselves (especially if you’re on social media).

You can tell when someone needs a third thing to fill in the rule of 3s (to scratch our pattern-devouring brains).

A real notebook and pencil with these words written repeatedly across the page: The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never. A reference to The Stanley Parable Game.

That’s why, today, for me… blog is a four-letter word.

And not the fun kind.

Instead, it feels like an all-consuming digital wave.

A real-world wave with a cartoon orange surfing on it. The orange is falling off and yelling in a cartoon speech bubble, "Oh, bl*g!" like "blog" is a censored word. A cartoon shark waits in the distance.

“Blog” so often applies to when people have nothing to say. They just want something.

Clicks. SEO. Or to suck you into a voracious, whirling funnel of attention-and-dollar-grabbing chaos.

A real world tall glass full of water with a vortex whirlpool inside. A purple cartoon monster biting the bottom of the glass where the vortex is draining. Inside the whirl are a clock, a dollar sign, a person, a shopping cart, and a Chrome browser logo.

So, maybe we just need a new word for it.

Placeholder [unblog].

For when someone has something to say… but no CTA.

And it could be music or a poem or graffiti or… this.

When someone is figuring out what to say. Through mistakes or therapy sessions or adventures.

But those aren’t blogs.

You don’t read blogs.

You read stories. If you make the time to. If they hold your interest.

So I should get out while I’m still holding on.

Auf Weidersehen, AI robots… and to you: the person who made this page real by reading it.

Two purple cartoon hands holding a real-world globe. A cartoon hammer, glue, yardstick and tape surround the world-building hands.

You singular, fascinating, skipping-stone of a world-maker.

To you: I’m glad you’re here and I’ll see you next time.


 Words About Stuff by Amy the Copywriter | Art by RAD Studio